Growing up with a parent struggling with alcohol addiction is a reality for many children, yet it's a topic often shrouded in silence and stigma. In our podcast with Amy Dickson around the impact of growing up with a parent who is addicted to alcohol, she explains that:
"One in five children has a parent drinking hazardously."
Amy Dickson, a trustee and outreach project manager for NACOA, shares her personal journey with Nip in the Bud, and the vital work she is involved in to support children in similar situations.
What are the hidden struggles of having an alcoholic parent?
Amy's story began as a child, living with the ‘open secret’ of her father's alcohol addiction. This forced her into a caring role from a young age. Caring for all the members of her family in different ways whilst constantly preparing and waiting for the inevitable to happen. Her coping mechanisms, such as controlling her food intake and pre-planning her father's funeral, highlight the profound impact on her mental health. Amy felt unable to speak out about her situation, struggles or mental health until after the death of her father. She tells us, "... I finally found my voice within days of him dying. I kind of didn't want to hold that secret anymore." With this shift Amy began to look outwards for support and came across the charity NACOA.
What is the role of NACOA?
NACOA, the National Association for Children of Alcoholics, provides a lifeline through its anonymous helpline offering a safe way of sharing burdens, asking questions and seeking help. Amy emphasises the importance of creating safe spaces for children to express their emotions without fear of judgment or safeguarding concerns. Although it was her father who had the addiction, the impact of this was wide reaching. Amy goes on to tell us that, "...addiction affected him, but it hugely affected my brother and I as well." Many children do not understand the impact on themselves and they develop coping mechanisms alone, often leading to poor mental health that can last into adulthood. NACOA aims to provide early support and information so that these issues do not develop too deeply and impact for too long.
Why is it important to bring conversations about alcoholism to schools?
With one in five children having a parent who drinks hazardously, Amy advocates for normalising conversations around parental addiction in schools. She stresses the need for empathy and understanding, treating this issue with the same compassion as any other illness. Amy goes through a strategy that is shared in schools as part of NACOAs outreach work. This simple strategy helps children and young people to feel less guilt, shame and anxiety around being a child of an alcoholic. She explains that she uses this approach for herself and that it has enormously helped her in the past. She calls this the 6 Cs:
- I didn’t cause it
- I can’t control it
- I can’t cure it
- I can take care of myself
- I can communicate my feelings
- I can make healthy choices
"I didn't cause it. I can't control it and I can't cure it, but I can take care of myself. I can communicate my feelings and I can make healthy choices for myself."
Amy says this with emotion and a deep understanding of the need to shift unhelpful negative views of one’s self in order to cope effectively with this very difficult and often traumatic situation in order to be able to do more than survive, but to thrive in life.
Conclusion:
Amy's mission is clear: to empower children of alcoholics to seek help and to educate society on the realities of living with parental addiction. By breaking the silence, NACOA strives to offer support and understanding to those who need it most. "NACOA provides a lifeline through its anonymous helpline," she tells us, and is proud of the support this charity and her work with them can provide to others.
Listen and subscribe now:
Listen to Amy's full story on our podcast episode to gain more information, advice and insight into this challenging area in order to help someone you know or a child in your care. Also, why not stay informed with all that we do at Nip in the Bud and help support early intervention by subscribing to our newsletter for more stories and insights into children’s mental health.
For further help NACOA have shared two resource packs for parents and teachers:
Alis Rocca.
