--- title: '4. Following instructions' url: 'https://nipinthebud.trilbyhost.com/toolkit/home-life/families-under-pressure/following-instructions' markdown: 'https://nipinthebud.trilbyhost.com/toolkit/home-life/families-under-pressure/following-instructions.md' date: '2026-02-27' description: 'Tip 4. Getting your child to follow instructions Want children to follow instructions? Make sure that they are listening to you and that they understand what you are saying. Clear communication between parents and children is key to reducing parent-child conflict and promoting better behaviour. If your children don’t know what it is you want from them – either because they don’t hear what you say or because they don’t understand what they hear – then it is unreasonable to tell them off when they don’t do what you want. If you do tell them off in such circumstances it will be no surprise that they get upset with you. There are some simple things you can do to improve the way you communicate with your child to make sure this doesn’t happen. Getting attention Although it sounds obvious, move to the same room as your child – don’t shout from room-to-room. Get full attention – remove distractions like phones or computers – either yours or theirs. Make eye-contact – make sure your child can see your eyes and mouth and you can see theirs. Being understood Speak slowly Use simple short sentences – including only one point per sentence. Check that they have understood what you have said by asking them to explain it to you. If you want to get your child to stop doing something give them good warning – count down the time till they have to stop. Display authority and be a good role model. Be calm and firm – don’t plead. Be polite and respectful. Respect breeds respect.' taxonomy: category: - Toolkit tag: - 'Home Life' type: - Video partner: - KCL-IOPPN --- # Tip 4: Getting your child to follow instructions [ Home Life ](https://nipinthebud.trilbyhost.com/results/tag:Home%20Life) [ ![King’s College London’s Institute of Psychiatry, Psychology & Neuroscience](https://nipinthebud.trilbyhost.com/user/pages/06.about-us/03.partners/kings-college-londons-institute-of-psychiatry-psychology-and-neuroscience/kcl-ioppn.jpg) ](https://nipinthebud.trilbyhost.com/about-us/partners/kings-college-londons-institute-of-psychiatry-psychology-and-neuroscience "Content by King’s College London’s Institute of Psychiatry, Psychology & Neuroscience") Duration: 0h 0m 44s Published: May 2021 ## Tip 4. Getting your child to follow instructions Want children to follow instructions? Make sure that they are listening to you and that they understand what you are saying. - Clear communication between parents and children is key to reducing parent-child conflict and promoting better behaviour. - If your children don’t know what it is you want from them – either because they don’t hear what you say or because they don’t understand what they hear – then it is unreasonable to tell them off when they don’t do what you want. - If you do tell them off in such circumstances it will be no surprise that they get upset with you. - There are some simple things you can do to improve the way you communicate with your child to make sure this doesn’t happen. ### Getting attention 1. Although it sounds obvious, move to the same room as your child – don’t shout from room-to-room. 2. Get full attention – remove distractions like phones or computers – either yours or theirs. 3. Make eye-contact – make sure your child can see your eyes and mouth and you can see theirs. ### Being understood 4. Speak slowly 5. Use simple short sentences – including only one point per sentence. 6. Check that they have understood what you have said by asking them to explain it to you. 7. If you want to get your child to stop doing something give them good warning – count down the time till they have to stop. ### Display authority and be a good role model. 8. Be calm and firm – don’t plead. 9. Be polite and respectful. 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